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In 19th century Iran pre marriage arrangements were very extensive

Summary: In 19th century Iran pre marriage arrangements were very extensive The couples were not allowed to see each other at all before the wedding night Therefore a number of unofficial arrangements were made for the groom to see the future bride accidentally or watching from behind doors or curtains Pre nuptial agreements could take a long time During negotiations the family of groom was served with tea sekanjebin sweet soar drink made from vinegar and sugar and they smoked water pipes Once an agreement was reached then the guests would be served with sweets but not beforehand This was called sheerne khoran eating sweets and is still practiced and varies according to the locality In a few days the bride would receive an engagement ring and a shawl These were placed in a relatively expensive carrying bag boghcheh with nabat concentrated sugar extract sugar cones and sweets and other presents Then the female relatives on both sides would visit the bride and one of groom s relatives other than his mother placed the ring in bride s hand and the shawl on her back There would be dancing merrymaking and with the rich female musicians Segregation of sexes due to religious codes of behavior was observed All financial details are sorted out before marriage and the couple s parents mainly fathers will carry out negotiations With prosperous families the issue is settled rather quickly However families with not enough means may drag the negotiations for a while bargaining about how much should be paid and what should be included in the marriage contract Bride in Persian is called arous which means white The word was used in Sassanian period and exists in Avestan literature as well The oldest historical record describing marriage ceremonies is by the Greek historians following Alexander s invasion of Persia Alexander and his men married a number of Iranian women mainly from the royalty and aristocracy In one account it is mentioned that the marriage ceremonies were in Persian fashion chairs were set for the bridegrooms in order of precedence Wine was served and they all drank to health Then the brides entered and sat by their grooms including Alexander The men took their brides hands and kissed them The king was the first to perform the ceremony After the ceremony both the bride and groom ate from a loaf of bread halved by sword and drank more wine Then they took their wives into their private quarters and retired It is also mentioned that dowries were paid for the brides Alexander provided the money from his treasury Mirror and candelabras are amongst the most important ceremonial objects that are taken to the brides home and they are reminiscence of the Zoroastrian religious believes Grooms family is expected to pay for all expenses and if they can not they will be looked down at The higher the status and social standing of the bride the more lavish will be the banquets and the presents especially the jewelry An elaborate wedding in Iran presently costs around a hundred thousand dollars There are efforts by the government to encourage people to simplify the weddings and lower the cost Mass communal weddings sponsored and paid by the government have become increasingly popular In February 2001 fourteen thousand couples married all across Iran in this manner Once the groom and his family express their desire for the union they go to the brides home with flowers sweets and sometimes gold coins or jewelry and ask for her hand If accepted more presents will follow The couple becomes engaged in a reasonably lavish party Rings are exchanged the engagement rings are simple mainly gold with no stones While the wedding ring presented to the bride will be lavish expensive with precious stones The engagement ring is sent to the bride s house with female relatives of the groom A few days before the actual ceremony again more presents are taken to the bride s house Men dressed up in festive costumes would carry the presents in elaborately decorated large flat containers on their heads The container is called tabagh and the whole thing with the presents is called khoncheh Many of these customs are still followed by the more traditional families and in the provinces The modern Iranians normally by pass some stages like sending the ring through relatives and outside Iran tabagh and khoncheh are hardly used However ceremonial objects are still present For Iranians marriage is an event which must be celebrated not quietly but with glory and distinction It is the most conspicuous of all the occasions and is celebrated in the presence of a fairly large assembly In the past the parents and older members of the family arranged almost all marriages This is still the case in rural areas and with traditional families Modern couples however choose their own mate but their parents consent is still very important and is considered by both sides Even with modern Iranians after the couple have decided themselves it is normally the grooms parents or other relatives who take the initiative and formally ask for the bride and her family s consent Once this is done then the marriage will be announced In the ancient times the musicians playing at marriage gatherings used drums to announce the marriage to the people of the town or village The group that gathered for the marriage was called the assembly for the queenly bride Traditionally both the bride and the bridegroom dressed in white with garlands of flower on their necks The color white is a symbol of purity innocence and faithfulness Today most modern Iranians follow the European dress code and style In 19th century Iran pre marriage arrangements were very extensive The couples were not allowed to see each other at all before the wedding night Therefore a number of unofficial arrangements were made for the groom to see the future bride accidentally or watching from behind doors or curtains Pre nuptial agreements could take a long time During negotiations the family of groom was served with tea sekanjebin sweet soar drink made from vinegar and sugar and they smoked water pipes Once an agreement was reached then the guests would be served with sweets but not beforehand This was called sheerne khoran eating sweets and is still practiced and varies according to the locality In a few days the bride would receive an engagement ring and a shawl These were placed in a relatively expensive carrying bag boghcheh with nabat concentrated sugar extract sugar cones and sweets and other presents Then the female relatives on both sides would visit the bride and one of groom s relatives other than his mother placed the ring in bride s hand and the shawl on her back There would be dancing merrymaking and with the rich female musicians Segregation of sexes due to religious codes of behavior was observed All financial details are sorted out before marriage and the couple s parents mainly fathers will carry out negotiations With prosperous families the issue is settled rather quickly However families with not enough means may drag the negotiations for a while bargaining about how much should be paid and what should be included in the marriage contract Bride in Persian is called arous which means white The word was used in Sassanian period and exists in Avestan literature as well The oldest historical record describing marriage ceremonies is by the Greek historians following Alexander s invasion of Persia Alexander and his men married a number of Iranian women mainly from the royalty and aristocracy In one account it is mentioned that the marriage ceremonies were in Persian fashion chairs were set for the bridegrooms in order of precedence Wine was served and they all drank to health Then the brides entered and sat by their grooms including Alexander The men took their brides hands and kissed them The king was the first to perform the ceremony After the ceremony both the bride and groom ate from a loaf of bread halved by sword and drank more wine Then they took their wives into their private quarters and retired It is also mentioned that dowries were paid for the brides Alexander provided the money from his treasury Mirror and candelabras are amongst the most important ceremonial objects that are taken to the brides home and they are reminiscence of the Zoroastrian religious believes Grooms family is expected to pay for all expenses and if they can not they will be looked down at The higher the status and social standing of the bride the more lavish will be the banquets and the presents especially the jewelry An elaborate wedding in Iran presently costs around a hundred thousand dollars There are efforts by the government to encourage people to simplify the weddings and lower the cost Mass communal weddings sponsored and paid by the government have become increasingly popular In February 2001 fourteen thousand couples married all across Iran in this manner Once the groom and his family express their desire for the union they go to the brides home with flowers sweets and sometimes gold coins or jewelry and ask for her hand If accepted more presents will follow The couple becomes engaged in a reasonably lavish party Rings are exchanged the engagement rings are simple mainly gold with no stones While the wedding ring presented to the bride will be lavish expensive with precious stones The engagement ring is sent to the bride s house with female relatives of the groom A few days before the actual ceremony again more presents are taken to the bride s house Men dressed up in festive costumes would carry the presents in elaborately decorated large flat containers on their heads The container is called tabagh and the whole thing with the presents is called khoncheh Many of these customs are still followed by the more traditional families and in the provinces The modern Iranians normally by pass some stages like sending the ring through relatives and outside Iran tabagh and khoncheh are hardly used However ceremonial objects are still present For Iranians marriage is an event which must be celebrated not quietly but with glory and distinction It is the most conspicuous of all the occasions and is celebrated in the presence of a fairly large assembly In the past the parents and older members of the family arranged almost all marriages This is still the case in rural areas and with traditional families Modern couples however choose their own mate but their parents consent is still very important and is considered by both sides Even with modern Iranians after the couple have decided themselves it is normally the grooms parents or other relatives who take the initiative and formally ask for the bride and her family s consent Once this is done then the marriage will be announced In the ancient times the musicians playing at marriage gatherings used drums to announce the marriage to the people of the town or village The group that gathered for the marriage was called the assembly for the queenly bride Traditionally both the bride and the bridegroom dressed in white with garlands of flower on their necks The color white is a symbol of purity innocence and faithfulness Today most modern Iranians follow the European dress code and style

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